These are my blogs from MySpace. They are a bit older, but still me...
For the Bible Tells me so:Protestors stood outside of the FBC Dallas Sunday morning, because someone noticed what their Sunday morning's sermon was going to be about. The pastor's collection of sermons is called "Politically Incorrect." and let me just say it is about time.
We are all so afraid of stepping on someone's toes, or hurting another's feelings, or what I like to call HOLDING EACHOTHER ACCOUNTABLE. This is (obviously) long overdue.
The reason I find this absolutely obsurd, is because when I flip to the news, it had gay rights activists complaining that the FBC Dallas was "preaching hate" which they repeated a multitude of times, all the while chanting "Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so..." and signs saying "Jesus loves me too." Absolutely Hypocritical. Please, if you are going to quote a reference as your support to your protest, then why don't you utilize the ENTIRE reference.
Please refer to 1 Corinthians 6:9 where it states that (Quoted directly from the bible:) "the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God. Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
~Now I didn't make that up, and I didn't put homosexual offenders in there with all of the other rotten acts... it is in the same Bible that the protestors have referenced themselves.
Note where it also quotes: Leviticus 20:13
"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."
~Strait from the Bible as well. Sounds pretty drastic to me, but it seems the emphasis in the Bible is in all the sins being paid for eventually, whether now or later...
On a lighter note, and the note that I wrap my entire writing around:
Ephesians 2:4
"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved."
Matthew 22:39
"Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself."
So, to all of the protestor's that think we are preaching hate, because what is being said offends you, just know this:
Yes Jesus DOES love you, just like the song and the bible say. He will always love you, and always be there for you. BUT He does NOT support your actions, or your decisions made outside of his will. Please read and take the ENTIRE book literally if that is what you are going to base your protests or your "feelings" on. FBC Dallas is obviously one of the few bible preaching churches left, and will not succom to everyone's "feel good preaching" standards. The Bible is definately not a feel good book, nor has it ever claimed to have been. It is the hard to digest, step on your toes, black and white, written TRUTH.
And if you think that our preaching from the same book you are chanting your protest from means that I hate you, then you should probably complete your research, and pick up a better hobby than homosexuality. I am not the one to judge you, and I am not the one judging you. You might feel a bit intimidated because there is a bigger and better entity judging you than me, or the church, or the world. It is Him, written from His own words, that is the one to judge you. The same words that you have turned against us.
This is the article:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/111008dnmetprotest.1976e1397.htmland what saddens me the most are the comments that people leave at the bottom. Just goes to show that some people are so on the defense, and so closed minded to even listen to what they themselves are saying. What a merry- go- round!!!
The Never-ending Story... of my life.I am a nice person. I personally think I am a nice person at least. I would be happy to have a friend like me... at least I think I would. And I would be darn happy to be married to a girl like me, (if I was a guy at least...)
Now that I have confused you...
I feel I am in a constant state of tail chasing. Friends, family, relationships, life, chores, money... you name it, I am chasing it. I strive for the best, and give my 110% to anyone I encounter, whether I think they deserve it or not. I was taught to be the bigger person in all situations...and I think that just might become my own demise...
Why is it when I give, instead of receiving, I have to give more?
Why is it when I work, instead of praise, I have to work harder?
Why is it when I be all I can be, instead of appreciation, I get higher expectations?
I am a striver, a deliverer, and a do-good, make it happen, work for it kind of girl... but I am just about officially worn. I try, and I pump it out, and work it out, and fix it, and answer all questions I can, and walk on egg shells, and hold a make it or break it mentality... I get it done.
I have two uber sweet and amazing, intuitive boys. I have tried to turn my body from an incubator for two, to a powerhouse, a wonderland, a cuddly pillow, and a little slice of heaven... and for some reason I still feel that isn't good enough. How do I still feel that isn't good enough? There has to be some secondary factor playing into this...
I am social. I try my hardest to make everyone happy, and with one happy person I get two UNhappy persons... that's how great THAT works. I clean, I cook, I go out, I stay in, I go to church, I have extra- curricular activities, I have my boys going to a great sitter, I have them in programs as well, I let my husband do as he pleases... all the time. And somehow, I am still not complete, and still can't find that happy medium that everyone suggests and expects me to be. I am not outgoing enough, I don't spend enough time with my sons, I am not involved enough, I am not spiritual enough, I am not a good friend, I could be a better wife, I could be more understanding, I could not wear my feelings on my shoulders...
...I see a few conflicts here that I don't think I can resolve for everyone that wants to throw their opinion my way....
But it's never enough... will never be enough... and I am chasing my tail, on egg shells that is. I wonder if others feel this way. If I knew for a fact I wasn't giving my all into everything I do, maybe I wouldn't be so voiced about this... it makes me mad when people play victim, or pull the pity me card. But seriously, where is MY slice of the pie, when do I get a break, and when do I finally feel like all of my strenuous efforts have finally paid off....
I need a sabbatical...
I want to love you more each dayI sit, and I wait. I love you.
I feel alone, empty, and incomplete when you aren't around. When you aren't in the room. If you could only see the light flash in my eyes when you walk in, feel the skip that my heart beat takes with one glimpse of you, watch the perk in my skin when you walk by, and the blink of my eyes that is a milli-second longer than usual, just when I smell you. I will be the one that loves you forever.
I wonder if I am the only one in the world that loves this way, this strongly, this sensually. I wonder if love is just an adjective to some, and not a verb, a description of all of their actions and feelings and emotions and deepest instincts from the depths of their lungs and hearts and minds and soul. I am selective, but open with my feelings, in a way that not many are. I am a lover, but I have never used the word and not meant it, and to mean it is everything to me.
I am vulnerable, open and exposed. I give my all, and then some, and then even more. I will exhaust every resource to express my heart, and when I am through, I will start all over again. My love doesn't need a return...
So if I seem overwhelmed, unhappy, distressed, and that I can't go on, just give me you, to love you forever. All I need is you and I can do anything. I love you. I love you. I love you.
And to think, I never wanted any of this...
Just to hurt the ones you loveSo in my personal opinion, when someone you love does something, or acts in a way that you don't approve of, you go through it with them. If you truely love someone, friend or sole- mate or family, you don't just disown them, nor do you exploit them at their expense, but you try to salvage their reputation, or their feelings from other's scrutiny. I would never put ANY of my friend's or family's heads up on a chopping block just because of something that they know they were wrong for. They were wrong, get over it. And they usually know they were wrong. The more you let it go and let them deal with their own problems, and not making them into a soap opera, the better friend you are, and the worse they will feel for "letting you down." So to anyone who doesn't think that you should be there for your friends, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, you need to re- think and re- evaluate your own relationships, and see what really matters to you. Getting attention from someone else's downfall, and blowing it way out of proportion, or helping this person bounce back from a hard time, and getting the joy out of seeing this person learn and get that much better. Value your friends, value your relationships and value your morals. Do not be better than the person next to you for ANY reason, and if you think you are, then you now owe it to that person to bring them right up there where you are. One day, all you will have is what you are and what you have given to others... so make it great... for your own sake. All of my friends are amazing people, each in their own ways. And yes, they are all imperfect in their own ways as well, but I love each and every one of them and their flaws. And when something bad happens to any of you, I will ALWAYS BE THERE with open arms, an open heart, open ears and open mind. No matter what. I just hope that when it comes to me being imperfect, that I won't be scrutinized and shunned like some of my friends have lately. It makes me sad that sometimes we think things are so trivial, and that our relationships are so disposable. When I say I love you, I mean it with my heart. And while I may get unhappy with someone, I cannot un-love them, and will always have their best interests in my heart. I am a good friend. I will keep secrets, I will not publicize things for my own benefit, and I truely care. I am a rare breed and I know it. But I love it because my friends know that I will always be there, and they love me back. I couldn't be happier. And if you could be happier... read this again, get the lesson learned, and call me in the morning.
Or So I thoughtI don't talk about it. But I sure can write about it. I am such a cover up. I try to justify the hard and the troubling with other life circumstances. "It will all be okay because of this... or that... or whatever."As long as my mind is off of it, so is my heart right?Wrong.My heart cries. My soul longs to see their face, hear their laugh, listen to them breathe. And it's not okay. I am not okay. I just say I am to avoid talking about it. Maybe avoid thinking about it..... for now.My distraction is now at a loss as well, and I am not even strong enough to deal with my own current adaptation. I had a good, an okay, but it is now with my little one. My heart aches for my Best as well. She is one of the most amazing women, and now she knows how I feel, and I am just sick. You couldn't wish that on your worst enemy, but then your best friend??? All you can do is ask why.What was the purpose?Was the reason bigger and better than our hurt?Why now?Why us.... BOTH?Does it really hurt this bad???But they are friends now, and they aren't alone. They will never feel the hurt of the world, or feel loss, or sadness, or unhappiness, or lonliness, or confusion. Nothing but pure delight, and joy, and sunshine. Our little ones are experiencing something we can only dream of. Something that could never even compare to what we know here. And throught this alone I see a ray of light. I will always remember, I will always love, and miss the one who I have never met. I said my goodbyes before I even got to say hello. And sometimes I feel nothing but guilt, for BOTH of us, and others I feel relief, knowing they are better off than I have ever been. I have so much to look forward to, and so much to look back on. To wonder if we have made the right decisions.... was there even ever a little heartbeat? My heart wrenches, and yet, I can look at our little one here, and see such a little miracle that it makes me feel amazing. Maybe we had to go through it together, to get eachother through it. Why Not? That is how every other thing in our lives are, and we are okay with that.... we like it that way. We are sisters. I love her. I love her little one, her one I will soon meet, and her one I will get to meet someday... when I meet my little ray of light. It can only get better from here.... literally.(I say this with love, with compassion, and with a heavy heart. I am doing okay, this just on my mind, and I HAD to get it off! I have had much prayer, and alot of time to think, and I am slowly healing. It just takes time. Something to get pass, but never forget. We will shine through this, and hopefully, show His mercy and give Him glory through all of our troubeling times.)
I am woman, hear me roar!*This is one of the most amazing and impowering things I have ever read. Read this when you feel weak, and you will realize you have the love of the world at your fingertips. Endure and enjoy. Even if you feel your hard works are being overlooked, they are not. The most important one sees them, and will reward you for them. And then, when you have aged and have a family, you will see the fruits of your great works. You are an amazing woman. Do not change you for anyone but Him and yourself. *
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble CharacterProverbs 31:10-31A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her busband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. SHE BRINGS HIM GOOD, NOT HARM, ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE. She selects wool and flax aand works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her ams to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed she is colthed in fine linen and purple. HER HUSBAND IS RESPECTED AT THE CITY GATE, WHERE HE TAKES HIS SEAT AMONG THE ELDERS OF THE LAND. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. SHE IS CLOTHED WITH STRENGTH AND DIGNITY; SHE CAN LAUGH AT THE DAYS TO COME. SHE SPEAKS WITH WISDOM AND FAITHFUL INSTRUCTION IS ON HER TOUNGUE. SHE WATCHES OVER THE AFFAIRS OF HER HOUSEHOLD AND DOES NOT EAT THE BREAD OF IDLENESS. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her: "MANY WOMEN DO NOBLE THINGS, BUT YOU SURPASS THEM ALL". CHARM IS DECEPTIVE, AND BEAUTY IS FLEETING ; BUT A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD IS TO BE PRAISED. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her priase at the city gate.
*There is nothing left to be said...*
Sword Fighting
No one is perfect. I am certainly not perfect. But I don't claim to be.... perfect. I don't want to be perfect.I always strive to be a better person. But why are those that feel that they have to bring others down to build themselves up? Words hurt more than actions, and people use their tongues as swords, and just lash out at others, even if they don't know them. I don't know which is worse, doing it to someone you know, or someone who doesn't have a clue who you are. Either way, it is wrong. You cannot just go and run your mouth, and still expect people to respect you, you make a fool out of yourself. Hold your tongue, don't always say the first thing that comes to your mind. Some of us have a censor problem, and it needs to be fixed immediately, because all it does is self- destruct.
*these are words we all need to know and use:Please
Thank You
Love
Happiness
Respect
Neighbor
Appreciate
Patience
Kindness
Give
Recieve (NOT take!)
Good Will
Hope
Faith
Peace
Persevere
Innocence
Now how did that make you feel? Try and pass it on. I feel better already...
