*Warning Warning Warning* Emo Blog coming your way

Ugh, I have to get it OOUUUUTTTT!!! This week has been so tough on me. I have been dealing with more than my fair share of emotional baggage the past few weeks, since Christmas, and I just need to get out for a bit I think. Finances suck. Suck, suck, suck. And like every other woman on the planet, what do I want to do when I get depressed. SHOP or EAT. And I shouldn't do either!

My high school friend's baby died exactly one week before his first Christmas. He was the third of three kids, two girls, 8 and 4, and him. The mother is a beautiful hispanic girl, tall, thin, dark skin and eyes, the girls look just like her. Daddy is tall, blone hair and blue eyes. They wanted a boy so bad, and when they had him, finally their wish had come true. Not to mention he looked just like daddy, BIG blue eyes, blonde hair, and full pouty lips. Poster child, beautiful boy. Gone. Right from her arms, she had to try and recesitate him, with no success. I could not imgagine the feelings. Then come to find out, they actually lived in the same apartment community that we do. She hasn't been back since, and will be moving due to this. I do not blame her a bit.
http://www.kellercitizen.com/101/story/11921.html

http://setagive.blogspot.com/2009/01/from-my-daughtersuch-tragedy.html

On to other things, we be broker than a joke. We are trying to sell my husband's car for under a grand, and no one will buy it... still! Thanks to the crappy economy, no one is spending money, they are in the same boat as us. A guy from work responded to our internal classifieds, and said he would be there Wednesday to buy it, done deal, but stood us up. Stinker.... Selling an armoire as well, but once again, no one buying things that aren't necessities right now. At least no one around me is!

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/cto/984418729.html

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/fuo/1000393854.html

THEN, I am working my tail off, supporting 7 people in my office, because my counterpart is out on Short Term Disability, and decided to take an extra week. Meetings coming up mean extra support. Normally I support 3, so it's double the work for me! But I am doing awesome, showing what I am capeable of. And whooping some tail doing it! I am just tired. Sad, lonely, and tired.

Thought I would watch a little television last night to take my mind off of things. Just to watch a show about FBI stuff, and see a girl hang herself. One of my best guy friends just did this a year ago. To see it re-inacted in a film shot me into a whirlwind of emotion, and I had to get out. I went running. I ran my ass off, I am still so pissed that he did it, and so confused, and hurt that he couldn't come to me. I don't know if or when someone gets over something like this...

So, it's been rough. I have loved on my babies a bit more due to my friend not being able to love on hers. I have taken longer showers just to sit and think. I have eaten nothing, or left- over cassarole for the past week strait, and couldn't look at another egg noodle if I HAD to because I would rather put a diaper on my baby's bottom than to feed my face. I have ran my ass off on the treadmill to get my aggression out a little. But it's still here, and I need another outlet. I need to get away... MOMMA I'M COMIN HOME! I think a good sit out on the dam will do wonders for my wondering mind.